To Love A Man Like You

Chapter 1: I Was Going To.. But Not

For the past few days, she's been practicing the words she's going to say. Every time she tried, she would yell out the incorrect words. The words that she wanted to say were jumbled, and she couldn't even understand what she meant.

"Let's laugh with you,” she said in the mirror.

Her eyes reflected at her as she stared back in horror.

"What the hell am I saying?” She shouted back at herself. Are you sure you are going to do this? At this rate, you’ll be the laughingstock of the century.”

Turning her back from her reflection, she walked furiously into the open kitchen of her apartment. It was small with high ceilings and an old heater that wouldn’t work, but it added character to the place. It was facing the park, and when it rained, it would smell of wood and clay, just like back at home. She lived two miles from her parent's house just in case something happened to them; she could rush to them easily.

Being an average, brunette, blue-eyed girl, Carolyn Holmes is content with herself. She likes to sing when it rains and is very bad at speaking her mind. Just like her imminent problem now with confessing her feelings to her longtime friend, Brent Fowler. They’ve been friends for ages, but something shifted in their relationship over the past couple of months.

She noticed how he looked at her when she was talking about her day or how he held the door to wait for her. How long was his embrace every time they would part ways? And the way it seemed, he wanted to tell her something. It was stifling when he stared at her. She has been waiting for him to confess his feelings, but she thought she could do it first. 

"Okay, let’s do this!” 

She took a big gulp of her cold tea. She washed her empty glass and put it upside down to dry.

Taking a long breath, she checked her outfit one last time and went out the door. 

Carolyn walked slowly to the restaurant, where they get together frequently. She was hoping today her plan would go as she thought about it. Two blocks down from the restaurant, and she could hear her heart pounding. 

She continued to walk, with only one block left. The music was so loud as she circled the corner through the entrance. Still in awe with the interior design of the restaurant, it impacted her every time because of its eccentric and homey ambiance.  

"Carolyn!” she heard someone yell her name. She looked for the voice and was stunned by the huge crowd looming at the end of the room. She thought it was just the two of them. 

"Come here, you, lazy poke," he said, grabbing her by the arm toward the table. “She’s here! Great job, Brent.”

She glared at him for tricking her. He knew that she didn’t like huge crowds. Whatever the reason, he had some serious explaining later. There goes her confession, clearing out into thin air. 

She glanced at him, and his eyes met hers. She could see he was regretful. Brent looked away and typed something on his phone. Her phone vibrated in her bag.

Pleading with his eyes, her heart pounded frantically again. He always looked good, no matter what he wore. And yes, Brent Fowler was a highly recognized actor, singer, and the most sought-after bachelor in the industry.

Many women fell head over heels with him every time they saw him. With his black, deep eyes, charismatic smile, and husky voice, every woman dreamed of. But out of all of this glamour, Carolyn knew the real Brent Fowler. 

She knew how much he preferred small crowds and warm places. Every time he had to shoot a movie, he still felt nervous, even though he'd been acting for years.

Brent: I’m sorry, Car. I should have told you, but they warned me.

Carolyn: Not cool, Brent. You should have told me.

Brent: I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

Carolyn: You know I don’t drink.

Brent: I’ll get your shots, promise.

Carolyn: As if they’ll let you.

Brent :I’ll make it up to you.

Carolyn: How are you going to do that, Brent with this crowd?

Brent stood up and scooted into her seat. 

“Hey, Peach,” he whispered, kissing her cheek.

"Are you okay?”

"No, I’m not, Brent. This crowd makes me claustrophobic, “laughing softly. He squeezed her as he stared at her gently.” I won’t let these hoodlums drink you too much.”

“You know that between the two of us, I’m better at drinking," she mumbled softly as she gulped her wine.

“Really, is this a challenge, Car?”

“No, it’s not Brent. I don’t want you to be wasted and get me fired. “

"Huh, I thought so. You, scaredy-cat,” he chuckled.  

“Yo, Brent. Let’s take one shot,” yelled one of the production assistants. He raised his glass and signaled with his fingers. Downing the contents in one go, Brent put down his glass.

“Woah, Brent, slow down!” she warned him.” Allison was after my neck with your last escapade. “

“Okay, okay, I’ll slow down, Mother.”

“I’m not your mother; I happened to be your manager, and if something bad happens while you're intoxicated, it will be your demise, not mine," reminding him of the consequences. 

"One more shot, Brent, "one of the cameramen said, and passed the glass to him. Carolyn looked at him furiously. He knew better than this would piss her off but since it was a party made for him, he didn't mind because he knew that Carolyn was there to protect him and he would always protect her as well. 

Looking mischievously at her, he finished the drink in one shot without taking his eyes off her. He tossed the glass upside down again and smirked at her. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and licked his lips. And there it was again, the gaze he had been giving her these past few weeks that made her heart skip a bit.

How can a simple gesture be as sexy as sin? Only Brent has the power to yield his charisma and he wields it as his weapon to charm the people around him. He can combust the whole folk of women hoods around him without putting too much effort. She roamed around and saw that every woman on the table was lusting after him and we were looking at him like candy.

Sighing her frustration, and the competition that surrounds her. She was way out of her league with all these women but the only thing that holding her from running towards the door was him. All week, she’d been playing the scenarios in her head. Remembering the perfect moment when she would tell him she liked him. But this was something that she didn’t imagine.

Her production team, who she loved so much, had a different plan. They planned this party secretly from her since she always excused herself from every event. So thus, the whole setup was made and Brent conspired with them – the traitor!

Calming her nerves, Brent stood and went to the bar to get another drink.  A woman who sat on the stool took this opportunity and talked to him.   

Something in how Brent interacted with the woman, halted her movements. It was the same gestures that he had been giving her. She felt constrictions gripping her heart that impaled her from breathing. Standing abruptly, she took her bag and made a beeline to the restroom.

Carolyn entered the last cubicle and locked it. Her hands were shaking and tears sprinkled down her cheeks. Covering her face, she sobbed softly feeling the pain.

How can she be so foolish? She must be a dunderhead to think that he reciprocated her feelings.

Laughing through her sobs, she inhaled so hard that it hit her chest. Wiping her tears, searching for a tissue but the compartment was empty.

“Great, just great!” huffing harshly to herself.

“You’re a complete mess, Carolyn!”

Composing herself, she inhaled again. She always did this when she was stressed out. The party was a blessing in disguise she thought. She could not imagine if she went away with her original plan.

The horror itself and the embarrassment she would have felt. The chagrin had doused her with her misery.

But first, she needed to go through with the party. She would stay for another hour, making excuses that her mother had just called her.

Oh, God! She really wouldn’t want to use her mother but it’s the only excuse that she can think of without them feeling suspicious.

Feeling more determined, she took another deep breath and exited the cubicle. Carolyn peered into the mirror and fixed her face.

“I can do this. Just one more hour”

It was then she heard a soft knock on the door, glancing one more time on her reflection she opened it. Brent was standing outside looking more ruggedly handsome. She felt her heart constrict again.

She puffed lightly. Sensing her distress, he moved forward and took his arm around her. He gazed through the blackness of his eyes and looked perturbed.

“What’s going on, Car? You left suddenly. “the sweetness behind his voice melted her agony. But she knew all too well, that this was Brent being worried with her and there was no meaning to it.

“I’m good, don’t worry.”

“Are you sure, you were just there when I left for a minute and the next thing you were gone?”

“Is this about the setup? I’m sorry, I didn’t think that it would affect you this much. “

“No, no, it was not about that I’m perfectly fine. “

“Really?” not quite believing her. “if there’s nothing wrong, then why is that it looked like you cried.” his tone made her uneasy.

Carolyn hated lying and to add more to the turmoil was that she was not a good liar. But she had to do it and avoid more damage to her broken heart. She could do this. She could lie to him.

Dwindling with her decisions, she got stuck with his mesmerizing eyes and warm embrace.

Oh, darn! There was nothing more to abate her raging emotions but with those darn eyes of his. She could stare at it all day.

 “Peaches, you can always tell me what’s troubling you.”

She got that nickname way back in high school during their baseball class. It was a mistake from their exercise when she thought that her P.E. Teacher wanted peaches when it should have meant that it was her turn to “pitch the ball. In Carolyn’s defense, she was eating peaches at that time. Marbles, right?  Brent laughed so hard that he’d been calling her that ever since.  

Holding her lightly, Brent caressed his arm with his thumb making circles that heightened her senses. Being this close to him but not able to hold him was torture.

A second split and she needed to break herself from the spell that he cast upon her.

“Brent… I. “ stuttering on her words. Carolyn! Get a grip and be done with it!

She was about to tell her made-up story when her phone suddenly vibrated from her bag. Pulling out from her reverie, she fumbled to her purse looked for it, and checked who was her savior.

“Who is it?”  he asked irritatingly. Is that jealousy? Is he jealous? Hope incapacitated her heart but she admonished it.

No reading between the lines, anymore!

 “It was mom” answering his question showing him. Her mother’s name, Rebecca Holmes,  flashed on her screen.  While others wrote “Mom” or “Mother” on their contact list. Carolyn always wrote their whole name regardless of their connection with her.

As if on cue, the universe came to her rescue. Now, she didn’t have to lie to him anymore, how about that!

Getting away from his embrace, she answered quickly. “Hello, Mom. Sorry, it was a little loud here. Can I call you back?”

 “Honey..” she whimpered.

“Mom, what’s the matter?” Brent arched his eyebrows looking at her.

“Carolyn..” her mother whimpering again and inhaling softly on the other side of the line. Holding her phone more tightly, she waited for her to answer her heart pounding so hard through her ears.

Brent came a little closer to her. “What’s going on? “he whispered.

“It’s your dad..” her mom, crying loudly, Between her sobs, Carolyn could hear wailing sirens and shouts from the background. She started barreling through the door, and Brent was catching after her.

“Oh, God! Baby, he’s ..” She didn’t understand what her mother was talking about. Carolyn just wanted to be with her quickly. “..monitor and they …. shout… . he’s…..one moment… he’s … dead.

She faltered on her steps and her heart stopped.